Halloween is coming up in the not to distant future and its kind of a big thing here at school. The kids love it because they don't have to wear their uniforms and the staff enjoys it because it allows us to let our hair down for a day. Being one of the new teachers on the block, I wanted to make sure that I fit in with everyone else and so I recently had an appointment with a local seamstress to get a costume made.
The kids here have given me the nickname of Mr. Incredible because they think that I look like said superhero. I'm not going to argue much, there are much worse things that I could be likened to and Mr. Incredible is my kinda superhero. Since this character has become part of my personality here at school, I decided that I would have the seamstress make me a Mr. Incredible costume. I looked online and you can buy them for about US$90 (plus US$25 S&H) but there is only one problem - the costumes are designed for people who aren't really close to Mr. Incredible dimensions. The costume you can buy online only fits people under six feet tall. So I am getting a custom made costume (just like the real Mr. Incredible) and it will actually fit me (unlike what would have happened if I tried to order it in the US).
Luciana came to school (she does a lot of work for the school) and we started to work out what the costume was, how it was going to be made, etc. I asked for some additional muscles (I'm natural in every other way!) to be sewn in to the costume and as she started to take my measurements, she made some mental calculations about how much it was going to cost for my outfit.
After a preliminary set of measurements of my upper body, she quoted me a price of S/ 250 (soles are Peruvian currency) which equates to about US$80. I was happy about it and kinda smiled; what a great deal I was getting.
Then she took the tape and measured the dimensions of my ass.
"Oh Mister, I think I'm going to need much more material, you are a very big man. I think the price is going to be more like S/ 300."
Now if that don't just crush your self-esteem, I don't know what does. She measures my bum and makes the comment about how she is going to need a lot more material - no doubting what that statement conveys...
So yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have a lot of "junk in my trunk". Maybe that's why I think J-Lo's posterior looks pretty darn good - its a reflection of my own image. Joy.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
i hope to hell there is a hell
Readers will know that from recent posts here, I am not a religious man. I believe that organized religion has been the major sparkplug for conflict in our world almost as long as religion has been spreading its own word. But after the events of the last few days, I do hope that there is a hell and certain people are in it.
I was fortunate enough to find a profession where I enjoy myself and I'm also really good at. I don't complain about my salary because as compared to other professions, I don't work the same number of months of the year that they do. This isn't to say that I don't work the same number of hours, rather I just do it during during a 10 month span instead of 12. I'm ok with doing the work that I do, I love working with teenagers (most people say I'm a glutton for punishment) but hey - there's nobody you'd want with your kid more than me.
Four years ago, I left the desert of southern California and headed out to the international teaching circuit and have been overseas since. I was having a hard time dealing with the status of American schools at the time (especially the one in California I was at) and I left the US to teach abroad. Luckily for me, I found a new sense of joy and pride in my work while working in Holland and at the end of my tenure there, seriously considered returning to the States to live and work.
After what has happened in education over the course of the last week, I'm not sure if I ever want to go back to a school in the US - even if you paid me hazardous duty pay. And like I said in the title to this post, I hope there is a hell and the assholes who committed those atrocities spend a long time down there suffering.
The teenager in Wisconsin who murdered his principal for disciplining him. He needs a serious mental exam and possible banishment to hell. His parents need to take a long look at what they didn't do when he was growing up and question whether or not they should be allowed to raise any more children. I have a good friend of mine that is a principal and gives out discipline to students. I truly worry about him because while a good and decent man, he is seen as a disciplinarian by many and I fear that his life could be in danger if he expels a kid. Imagine this - your life could be in danger for doing your job - even when you're not a member of the military or law enforcement. I pray for you Steve, I really do.
Then the sex-crazed lunatic that busted into a Colorado school to rape and shoot teenage girls - he's another winner of the purgatory award. This sick fuck molested the girls before turning the gun on them and himself. I guess he knew that his life would be a living hell on Earth if he was ever caught and sent to prison - imagine what the inmates would have done to him? Ahhh, only a small sample of the terror that those girls endured when he sodomized them. Send that bastard to hell after the correctional system gets done with him and let his soul think of what it did for a good long time.
And finally, today's crowning achievement - the milk truck driver who executed the young Amish women in Pennsylvania. This asshole needs to spend a long time burning in the depths of hell for his actions. His deep seeded neurosis that he had been wronged 20 years ago comes to fruition and he goes off on the Amish? What on Earth could an Amish person ever could have done to him that made him so whacked out that he would seal himself and the girls in that one room school house and execute them? I don't mean to generalize but the Amish are known as being one of the most kind and docile people of the western world - what could anyone from that community do to him that would make him bind the hands and feet of young girls and put a bullet into their brain? Did someone cut off his milk truck in their buggy? It sounds insane but clearly this guy was so it must have been something totally deranged that put him over the edge. To hell and no coming back for that motherfucker.
Excuse my language but I am passionate about my chosen profession and I, like so many others, are in it for the kids. I want the world to be run by these guys because my generation hasn't done anything to make it a better place. These kids are full of bright and innocent ideas that are pure and idealistic. They haven't been corrupted in their thought by what the status quo is and what other people say they can and can't do. I want kids from the ages of 14 to 18 years old to run the country for four years and see what happens - it can't be any worse than it is right now. And THAT's why I'm in education - to make things better for the future generation that will lead us out of the shittiness we have gotten ourselves into.
But how are they gonna do that if they fear for their lives every day they come to visit me? How can I teach the laws of physics and critical thinking skills when kids (and educators) are more concerned with survival from predators? Schools are soft targets (ever see a military checkpoint outside a school?) and until this generation pulls its collective head out of its collective ass, kids will live in fear of what might happen at school. Imagine Johnny coming home from a day at school and answering the question about how his day went with, "Not too bad, I think. I didn't pay too much attention because Sally got raped by some lunatic who walked into class and Mr. Johnson was stabbed trying to stop him. But that's about it, how was your day?"
I was fortunate enough to find a profession where I enjoy myself and I'm also really good at. I don't complain about my salary because as compared to other professions, I don't work the same number of months of the year that they do. This isn't to say that I don't work the same number of hours, rather I just do it during during a 10 month span instead of 12. I'm ok with doing the work that I do, I love working with teenagers (most people say I'm a glutton for punishment) but hey - there's nobody you'd want with your kid more than me.
Four years ago, I left the desert of southern California and headed out to the international teaching circuit and have been overseas since. I was having a hard time dealing with the status of American schools at the time (especially the one in California I was at) and I left the US to teach abroad. Luckily for me, I found a new sense of joy and pride in my work while working in Holland and at the end of my tenure there, seriously considered returning to the States to live and work.
After what has happened in education over the course of the last week, I'm not sure if I ever want to go back to a school in the US - even if you paid me hazardous duty pay. And like I said in the title to this post, I hope there is a hell and the assholes who committed those atrocities spend a long time down there suffering.
The teenager in Wisconsin who murdered his principal for disciplining him. He needs a serious mental exam and possible banishment to hell. His parents need to take a long look at what they didn't do when he was growing up and question whether or not they should be allowed to raise any more children. I have a good friend of mine that is a principal and gives out discipline to students. I truly worry about him because while a good and decent man, he is seen as a disciplinarian by many and I fear that his life could be in danger if he expels a kid. Imagine this - your life could be in danger for doing your job - even when you're not a member of the military or law enforcement. I pray for you Steve, I really do.
Then the sex-crazed lunatic that busted into a Colorado school to rape and shoot teenage girls - he's another winner of the purgatory award. This sick fuck molested the girls before turning the gun on them and himself. I guess he knew that his life would be a living hell on Earth if he was ever caught and sent to prison - imagine what the inmates would have done to him? Ahhh, only a small sample of the terror that those girls endured when he sodomized them. Send that bastard to hell after the correctional system gets done with him and let his soul think of what it did for a good long time.
And finally, today's crowning achievement - the milk truck driver who executed the young Amish women in Pennsylvania. This asshole needs to spend a long time burning in the depths of hell for his actions. His deep seeded neurosis that he had been wronged 20 years ago comes to fruition and he goes off on the Amish? What on Earth could an Amish person ever could have done to him that made him so whacked out that he would seal himself and the girls in that one room school house and execute them? I don't mean to generalize but the Amish are known as being one of the most kind and docile people of the western world - what could anyone from that community do to him that would make him bind the hands and feet of young girls and put a bullet into their brain? Did someone cut off his milk truck in their buggy? It sounds insane but clearly this guy was so it must have been something totally deranged that put him over the edge. To hell and no coming back for that motherfucker.
Excuse my language but I am passionate about my chosen profession and I, like so many others, are in it for the kids. I want the world to be run by these guys because my generation hasn't done anything to make it a better place. These kids are full of bright and innocent ideas that are pure and idealistic. They haven't been corrupted in their thought by what the status quo is and what other people say they can and can't do. I want kids from the ages of 14 to 18 years old to run the country for four years and see what happens - it can't be any worse than it is right now. And THAT's why I'm in education - to make things better for the future generation that will lead us out of the shittiness we have gotten ourselves into.
But how are they gonna do that if they fear for their lives every day they come to visit me? How can I teach the laws of physics and critical thinking skills when kids (and educators) are more concerned with survival from predators? Schools are soft targets (ever see a military checkpoint outside a school?) and until this generation pulls its collective head out of its collective ass, kids will live in fear of what might happen at school. Imagine Johnny coming home from a day at school and answering the question about how his day went with, "Not too bad, I think. I didn't pay too much attention because Sally got raped by some lunatic who walked into class and Mr. Johnson was stabbed trying to stop him. But that's about it, how was your day?"
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