Halloween is coming up in the not to distant future and its kind of a big thing here at school. The kids love it because they don't have to wear their uniforms and the staff enjoys it because it allows us to let our hair down for a day. Being one of the new teachers on the block, I wanted to make sure that I fit in with everyone else and so I recently had an appointment with a local seamstress to get a costume made.
The kids here have given me the nickname of Mr. Incredible because they think that I look like said superhero. I'm not going to argue much, there are much worse things that I could be likened to and Mr. Incredible is my kinda superhero. Since this character has become part of my personality here at school, I decided that I would have the seamstress make me a Mr. Incredible costume. I looked online and you can buy them for about US$90 (plus US$25 S&H) but there is only one problem - the costumes are designed for people who aren't really close to Mr. Incredible dimensions. The costume you can buy online only fits people under six feet tall. So I am getting a custom made costume (just like the real Mr. Incredible) and it will actually fit me (unlike what would have happened if I tried to order it in the US).
Luciana came to school (she does a lot of work for the school) and we started to work out what the costume was, how it was going to be made, etc. I asked for some additional muscles (I'm natural in every other way!) to be sewn in to the costume and as she started to take my measurements, she made some mental calculations about how much it was going to cost for my outfit.
After a preliminary set of measurements of my upper body, she quoted me a price of S/ 250 (soles are Peruvian currency) which equates to about US$80. I was happy about it and kinda smiled; what a great deal I was getting.
Then she took the tape and measured the dimensions of my ass.
"Oh Mister, I think I'm going to need much more material, you are a very big man. I think the price is going to be more like S/ 300."
Now if that don't just crush your self-esteem, I don't know what does. She measures my bum and makes the comment about how she is going to need a lot more material - no doubting what that statement conveys...
So yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have a lot of "junk in my trunk". Maybe that's why I think J-Lo's posterior looks pretty darn good - its a reflection of my own image. Joy.
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