Well, I figured that since its been a few months now that I've been gone from Lima, it was time to update the banner. Gone is the "Live from Lima, its Saturday Night!!!" which pictures of Tim surfing and the Cordilleras Blancas outside Huaraz in Peru. While I thought that was a great banner, I knew that I had to put up something that reflected the change of locale.
So this morning I put together something different, a new look at my new home, New Mexico. Albuquerque is known for its annual "Balloon Fiesta" and a picture adorns the left side of the banner to address that. The right side, my friend - the cactus. A bad experience hiking in the Sandia Mountains urged me to put something in that was something to chuckle at. And the tag line? I'm not sure why New Mexico is known as the "Land of Enchantment" so I merely had to question. Nothing against Albuquerque or New Mexico, I am enjoying both; its just a question.
A new look for Expat Nomad, enjoy.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
ahoy captain - iceberg ahead!
Well fellow Americans, how does it feel to be on the modern-day equivalent of the Titanic? After today's vote against legislation that would have injected $700 billion into the credit stream of our country and possibly save it from a recession, our elected representatives voted with the idea of saving their seat in Congress in the upcoming (and arguably worthless) November election. I say worthless because by that point in time, the US may actually be worth nothing. McCain and Obama will be vying for a bankrupt country and may have to pony up their campaign contributions to pay for moving expenses into the Citibank White House. I figure the government will need corporate sponsorship by that point in time.
Lawmakers said they rejected the bill because their offices were flooded with phone calls and emails from their constituency demanding that they not vote in favor of the bill. Ya know, the same informed public that can't find the home states of McCain or Obama on a map, the same informed public that more obsessed with what Britney's hair style is than figuring out their finances, the same informed public that bought the houses that they are currently defaulting on and have put the country in the crisis that it is in. Screaming and yelling, the constituents said, "Make sure those money-grubbing executives don't get one dime in severance!" even though the $700 billion is designed to pay for the mortgages that they couldn't afford (and I blame the banks too but they are run by the people who vote, hence why I say constituents). So Democratic and Republican members of the House voted against bi-partisan legislation in order to ensure that they got the votes of the people who may not have a clue about what is really going on and are quite possibly the reason for this mess to begin with. They voted to protect their seat in Congress instead of voting to preserve a country. Do they not get that it could be a Pyrrhic victory in that they will be re-elected to a country that may not exist by the time the election is over? Blinders on, the mantra of "must get re-elected" was heard out of more than one lawmaker today.
Listen, I am not a Bush fan, not by any stretch of the imagination. I've criticized him before on this blog and still think he's made some incredibly HUGE mistakes while in office. But I will grant him this - he understands the severity of this situation and is working his tail off to get this country upright before he exits from office. He's not trying to preserve his legacy at this moment, he's just trying to preserve the country so that history will be able to note his legacy. And on top of that, his own party put him out to dry? This was legislation that was proposed by his administration with bi-partisan help to draft it, and then voted down BY HIS OWN REPUBLICANS. When a President is stabbed in the back by his own party, you gotta question why and what motivation these people have. Even John McCain, the Republican nominee to be the next President, knew that it would be suicide for the House to vote this down; and yet down it went.
And so did the market. The Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) fell by 777 points. Look it up folks, that's a record. Even during the collapse of the Great Depression the stock market didn't fall that much. Now to be fair, 777 points in today's market was 7.0% of the total value whereas the worst days in history saw a 20% drop. Nevertheless, I'm not thinking that this 777 is exactly a lucky number. Other measures of the American markets showed similarly bad numbers; NASDAQ was down 9.1%, S&P 500 was down 8.8%. American markets weren't the only ones affected. Japan - down 4.6%, Australia - down 5.3%, Canada - down 7%, England - down 5.3%, and the list continues.
Some blame Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) for the failure because she made a speech criticizing Republicans as the voting was taking place and some think that some Republicans voted against the legislation just to smite Pelosi for saying that. I really hope for the sake of this country, and possibly the world, that those representatives were NOT that spiteful. Why the world? If the US falls, who becomes the superpower to take care of the world? Who stands up to aggression by terrorists or radical fundamentalists? Who patrols the seas to ensure that shipping isn't pirated? You think the Russians or the Chinese can step up at the moment? As a former sailor I can tell you this - neither one of those navies (or armies for that matter) is ready to step up and conduct operations on a regional or global scale.
So tonight I am absolutely amazed at the turn of events that has happened in the United States over the last 96 hours. The warning was shouted from the crow's nest long ago about the economic iceberg yet people still think that we are on the unsinkable ship. Can anyone think of a time in US history where they has been worse time in our country? Economic collapse is imminent, fighting a war on two fronts against a word (terror, or unknown opponent if you want to get more technical), and Janet Jackson was hospitalized tonight, unable to make her concert (had to throw in a jab at the entertainment press). We only need one more bad thing to happen and the four horsemen of the apocalypse will come riding into Washington to announce their own takeover. Citibank taking over Wachovia will look like nothing compared to that.
My rant to Congress is this - people with a whole lot more knowledge about the impending financial meltdown are telling you what to do and you're listening to people who can't balance their checkbooks. For once, defer to those who know and make the right decision. Fuck politics, fuck your re-election, fuck the pissed-off voters. Doing the right thing may be the hard thing, especially when it may cost you your elected position but in the end, at least you'll know that you did the right thing in trying to save this country from an epidemic of unemployment and depression.
Lawmakers said they rejected the bill because their offices were flooded with phone calls and emails from their constituency demanding that they not vote in favor of the bill. Ya know, the same informed public that can't find the home states of McCain or Obama on a map, the same informed public that more obsessed with what Britney's hair style is than figuring out their finances, the same informed public that bought the houses that they are currently defaulting on and have put the country in the crisis that it is in. Screaming and yelling, the constituents said, "Make sure those money-grubbing executives don't get one dime in severance!" even though the $700 billion is designed to pay for the mortgages that they couldn't afford (and I blame the banks too but they are run by the people who vote, hence why I say constituents). So Democratic and Republican members of the House voted against bi-partisan legislation in order to ensure that they got the votes of the people who may not have a clue about what is really going on and are quite possibly the reason for this mess to begin with. They voted to protect their seat in Congress instead of voting to preserve a country. Do they not get that it could be a Pyrrhic victory in that they will be re-elected to a country that may not exist by the time the election is over? Blinders on, the mantra of "must get re-elected" was heard out of more than one lawmaker today.
Listen, I am not a Bush fan, not by any stretch of the imagination. I've criticized him before on this blog and still think he's made some incredibly HUGE mistakes while in office. But I will grant him this - he understands the severity of this situation and is working his tail off to get this country upright before he exits from office. He's not trying to preserve his legacy at this moment, he's just trying to preserve the country so that history will be able to note his legacy. And on top of that, his own party put him out to dry? This was legislation that was proposed by his administration with bi-partisan help to draft it, and then voted down BY HIS OWN REPUBLICANS. When a President is stabbed in the back by his own party, you gotta question why and what motivation these people have. Even John McCain, the Republican nominee to be the next President, knew that it would be suicide for the House to vote this down; and yet down it went.
And so did the market. The Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) fell by 777 points. Look it up folks, that's a record. Even during the collapse of the Great Depression the stock market didn't fall that much. Now to be fair, 777 points in today's market was 7.0% of the total value whereas the worst days in history saw a 20% drop. Nevertheless, I'm not thinking that this 777 is exactly a lucky number. Other measures of the American markets showed similarly bad numbers; NASDAQ was down 9.1%, S&P 500 was down 8.8%. American markets weren't the only ones affected. Japan - down 4.6%, Australia - down 5.3%, Canada - down 7%, England - down 5.3%, and the list continues.
Some blame Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) for the failure because she made a speech criticizing Republicans as the voting was taking place and some think that some Republicans voted against the legislation just to smite Pelosi for saying that. I really hope for the sake of this country, and possibly the world, that those representatives were NOT that spiteful. Why the world? If the US falls, who becomes the superpower to take care of the world? Who stands up to aggression by terrorists or radical fundamentalists? Who patrols the seas to ensure that shipping isn't pirated? You think the Russians or the Chinese can step up at the moment? As a former sailor I can tell you this - neither one of those navies (or armies for that matter) is ready to step up and conduct operations on a regional or global scale.
So tonight I am absolutely amazed at the turn of events that has happened in the United States over the last 96 hours. The warning was shouted from the crow's nest long ago about the economic iceberg yet people still think that we are on the unsinkable ship. Can anyone think of a time in US history where they has been worse time in our country? Economic collapse is imminent, fighting a war on two fronts against a word (terror, or unknown opponent if you want to get more technical), and Janet Jackson was hospitalized tonight, unable to make her concert (had to throw in a jab at the entertainment press). We only need one more bad thing to happen and the four horsemen of the apocalypse will come riding into Washington to announce their own takeover. Citibank taking over Wachovia will look like nothing compared to that.
My rant to Congress is this - people with a whole lot more knowledge about the impending financial meltdown are telling you what to do and you're listening to people who can't balance their checkbooks. For once, defer to those who know and make the right decision. Fuck politics, fuck your re-election, fuck the pissed-off voters. Doing the right thing may be the hard thing, especially when it may cost you your elected position but in the end, at least you'll know that you did the right thing in trying to save this country from an epidemic of unemployment and depression.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
a load of crap
Forgive me readers but I'm not my usual self at the moment. However, I wanted to take this opportunity to express myself about a topic that is current and relevant to me, and maybe for others out there.
About a month ago, I celebrated my 38th birthday, marking a point of roughly 20 years worth of dating. Yes indeed, I don't know quite how I've managed to make it this far without finding the right woman for me (it must be a talent). I've also come to the conclusion that 20 years of any experience makes me an expert in the area and I've decided to put up a post about the load of crap that is put out by certain magazines and advice columnists.
"A solid romantic relationship should be built upon a solid friendship." Or something along those lines... The myth that is published over and over by gossip magazines or people who write for papers that have been married for a ba-zillon years. The people who write this crap are full of what they write. After 20 years of dating in different styles, I can assure you that this method does not work. Women do want their lover to be their friend but not vice versa. A tip to all the single boys out there who might read this - do not follow this advice of doing the friendship thing first.
Yes I am writing this because of a recently failed attempt at a relationship, one where I laid the ground work of friendship (to make her more comfortable) and then attempted to move this on to the next stage. What happened in this case, as has happened in the past, is that the woman knows she has a friend in waiting and can break glass in case of need of penis.
Being a friend first is the wrong tactic to take if you are interested in someone. The relationship that develops is one that puts the wrong ideas into each person's head. The interested party believes that being a friend first means gaining trust and becoming a significant part of the others life. To the person who is being befriended, they believe that they have made a friend of the opposite sex and that this opposite gendered friend will always be there but they also know they can take advantage of this friendship when needed (being horny does amazing things to people).
So since this last failure came to be, it got me to thinking about my tactics used when it comes to dating. I surveyed my memories of the last 20 years and thought of my successful (2+ years) romantic relationships and those that have flopped. Of all my successful relationships, precisely zero started off as friendships and progressed from there. To put that into perspective, that includes 3 significant others in 6 years of relationships (over 30% of my dating time) and a fiancee in the mix. While none of those relationships resulted in a long, lasting commitment (hence why I'm still single), I can relate back to those relationships and note the following. My long term relationships were not built on friendship but romantic intentions.
I then looked at my data for relationships that started off as friendships and the attempt to develop it into something more. I stopped counting when I got to 10 because I was starting to make myself depressed to think of the time that I wasted. The time that it takes to lay the foundation for a friendship and develop it further is many fold greater than if the woman knows where you stand up front. The relationships I counted spanned the time of almost 12 years (!) and not one has produced a single, viable, long term, romantic relationship (although I did get laid once by one of them; she was desperate I guess).
The last category is "women who know your intentions and still don't want to date you" and while there are plenty of women in that classification, at least the failed relationships took less time to fail than the friendship route. When a Dutch woman said she didn't want to see me again after the second date because I reminded her too much of her ex, at least it was quick and relatively painless. Another woman, this one from the States, decided she didn't want to continue our relationship of two months because she had found another man; it was over quickly again. In both of those cases (any many more), the romantic side was quashed and I was able to move on to the next person who could be a better match for me.
With time not exactly on my side, I've realized too late this fundamental flaw in the Cinderella media - friendship does not make good romance. The movies show it this way and the good guy/girl friend ends up being the best companion but that's just Hollywood. In my real world experience, this isn't the case and you shouldn't waste your time. So if you're in the dating world, take this advice: Be clear from the start what your intentions are and save yourself the hassle, heartache, and wasted time.
About a month ago, I celebrated my 38th birthday, marking a point of roughly 20 years worth of dating. Yes indeed, I don't know quite how I've managed to make it this far without finding the right woman for me (it must be a talent). I've also come to the conclusion that 20 years of any experience makes me an expert in the area and I've decided to put up a post about the load of crap that is put out by certain magazines and advice columnists.
"A solid romantic relationship should be built upon a solid friendship." Or something along those lines... The myth that is published over and over by gossip magazines or people who write for papers that have been married for a ba-zillon years. The people who write this crap are full of what they write. After 20 years of dating in different styles, I can assure you that this method does not work. Women do want their lover to be their friend but not vice versa. A tip to all the single boys out there who might read this - do not follow this advice of doing the friendship thing first.
Yes I am writing this because of a recently failed attempt at a relationship, one where I laid the ground work of friendship (to make her more comfortable) and then attempted to move this on to the next stage. What happened in this case, as has happened in the past, is that the woman knows she has a friend in waiting and can break glass in case of need of penis.
Being a friend first is the wrong tactic to take if you are interested in someone. The relationship that develops is one that puts the wrong ideas into each person's head. The interested party believes that being a friend first means gaining trust and becoming a significant part of the others life. To the person who is being befriended, they believe that they have made a friend of the opposite sex and that this opposite gendered friend will always be there but they also know they can take advantage of this friendship when needed (being horny does amazing things to people).
So since this last failure came to be, it got me to thinking about my tactics used when it comes to dating. I surveyed my memories of the last 20 years and thought of my successful (2+ years) romantic relationships and those that have flopped. Of all my successful relationships, precisely zero started off as friendships and progressed from there. To put that into perspective, that includes 3 significant others in 6 years of relationships (over 30% of my dating time) and a fiancee in the mix. While none of those relationships resulted in a long, lasting commitment (hence why I'm still single), I can relate back to those relationships and note the following. My long term relationships were not built on friendship but romantic intentions.
I then looked at my data for relationships that started off as friendships and the attempt to develop it into something more. I stopped counting when I got to 10 because I was starting to make myself depressed to think of the time that I wasted. The time that it takes to lay the foundation for a friendship and develop it further is many fold greater than if the woman knows where you stand up front. The relationships I counted spanned the time of almost 12 years (!) and not one has produced a single, viable, long term, romantic relationship (although I did get laid once by one of them; she was desperate I guess).
The last category is "women who know your intentions and still don't want to date you" and while there are plenty of women in that classification, at least the failed relationships took less time to fail than the friendship route. When a Dutch woman said she didn't want to see me again after the second date because I reminded her too much of her ex, at least it was quick and relatively painless. Another woman, this one from the States, decided she didn't want to continue our relationship of two months because she had found another man; it was over quickly again. In both of those cases (any many more), the romantic side was quashed and I was able to move on to the next person who could be a better match for me.
With time not exactly on my side, I've realized too late this fundamental flaw in the Cinderella media - friendship does not make good romance. The movies show it this way and the good guy/girl friend ends up being the best companion but that's just Hollywood. In my real world experience, this isn't the case and you shouldn't waste your time. So if you're in the dating world, take this advice: Be clear from the start what your intentions are and save yourself the hassle, heartache, and wasted time.
Monday, September 22, 2008
times of turmoil
This culture shock thing sure has my brain looping all around. Or maybe it is the gravity of the situation that currently grips the country that I've just moved to. Or maybe its a combination of both of them - I can't quite tell. In any case, the days are feeling a bit on the surreal side here and I'm not having such an easy time wrapping my head around it all.
The government bailout of Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, and AIG are unprecedented in history. The Albuquerque Journal's Saturday front page story was a black background with white lettering stating the severity of the financial crisis that was averted. Quotes from politicians and economists splattered across the black, crying out how the country was days away from a meltdown and ATMs across the country were hours away from being turned off. If things work out, Ben Bernanke could considered to be one of the smartest and greatest patriots of 21st century America.
My father called for a family meeting on Saturday to discuss what happened last week. He was furious with how we got into this crisis and how Democrats were to blame for this. The facts (not all verified by me) as stated by him were these:
In late 1999, Bill Clinton repealed the Glass-Stegall Act of 1933 (another bill taking its place, the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, was sponsored by Republicans and voted into effect by Congress with such numbers that it was veto-proof). The act was created in the wake of the 1929 crash of the stock market to prevent investment banks and lending banks from becoming one in the same. When Clinton repealed the act, the division between investment banks and lending banks became non-existent and the two were free to dabble in the other.
Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank (D) then led the crusade to get homes for every American. Banks were fined for not lending to people and people were buying houses left and right - even ones they couldn't afford. Banks just figured that if an owner couldn't make their payment, the bank would repossess and the increased value of the house would make up for it. Only problem is that the bubble on the housing market finally started to pop about a year ago and foreclosures could no longer cover the costs. Lending banks took a gamble on investing (in real estate) and were losing - big time. Lehman, AIG, Morgan Sterns, Freddie & Fannie - all were in the papers last week as they became the beginning of what could have been the end of the banking system in the United States. Check your history; when banks fail, so do countries.
It took almost 9 years for the collapse to happen but it came to head last week and it instantly put my father into a tailspin. A quick flash to the Great Depression and its 25% unemployment had my father preaching to me to get a job, no matter what it was, just get a job NOW. My father rarely tells me what to do, leaving me to do what I need to in order to make myself happy and fulfilled, but the impending doom of another possible depression sent him reeling. I imagine that his exposure to the markets and with his company small enough to get crushed by a recession/depression, he has plenty of reason for concern. It is this turmoil that makes my return to the US an uncertain thing, one that makes my head spin in oh so many ways.
So what is to happen? My gut feeling is that Bernanke will prove to be a great patriot and this financial crisis averted. Hopefully Congress will keep their paws off of this and let the people who know best do what they do best and revive the economy. But it does put things into perspective and being unemployed isn't the greatest of feelings at the moment.
The government bailout of Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, and AIG are unprecedented in history. The Albuquerque Journal's Saturday front page story was a black background with white lettering stating the severity of the financial crisis that was averted. Quotes from politicians and economists splattered across the black, crying out how the country was days away from a meltdown and ATMs across the country were hours away from being turned off. If things work out, Ben Bernanke could considered to be one of the smartest and greatest patriots of 21st century America.
My father called for a family meeting on Saturday to discuss what happened last week. He was furious with how we got into this crisis and how Democrats were to blame for this. The facts (not all verified by me) as stated by him were these:
In late 1999, Bill Clinton repealed the Glass-Stegall Act of 1933 (another bill taking its place, the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, was sponsored by Republicans and voted into effect by Congress with such numbers that it was veto-proof). The act was created in the wake of the 1929 crash of the stock market to prevent investment banks and lending banks from becoming one in the same. When Clinton repealed the act, the division between investment banks and lending banks became non-existent and the two were free to dabble in the other.
Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank (D) then led the crusade to get homes for every American. Banks were fined for not lending to people and people were buying houses left and right - even ones they couldn't afford. Banks just figured that if an owner couldn't make their payment, the bank would repossess and the increased value of the house would make up for it. Only problem is that the bubble on the housing market finally started to pop about a year ago and foreclosures could no longer cover the costs. Lending banks took a gamble on investing (in real estate) and were losing - big time. Lehman, AIG, Morgan Sterns, Freddie & Fannie - all were in the papers last week as they became the beginning of what could have been the end of the banking system in the United States. Check your history; when banks fail, so do countries.
It took almost 9 years for the collapse to happen but it came to head last week and it instantly put my father into a tailspin. A quick flash to the Great Depression and its 25% unemployment had my father preaching to me to get a job, no matter what it was, just get a job NOW. My father rarely tells me what to do, leaving me to do what I need to in order to make myself happy and fulfilled, but the impending doom of another possible depression sent him reeling. I imagine that his exposure to the markets and with his company small enough to get crushed by a recession/depression, he has plenty of reason for concern. It is this turmoil that makes my return to the US an uncertain thing, one that makes my head spin in oh so many ways.
So what is to happen? My gut feeling is that Bernanke will prove to be a great patriot and this financial crisis averted. Hopefully Congress will keep their paws off of this and let the people who know best do what they do best and revive the economy. But it does put things into perspective and being unemployed isn't the greatest of feelings at the moment.
Friday, August 29, 2008
lost in transition
A friend and former roommie of mine from Holland wrote to me yesterday and the conversation gave me some ideas to write about. Since he has the occasional minute to read this blog, I decided to take some of what he wrote and run with it. Going with the feelings of spontaneity, here goes.
The title of this post comes from a feeling that I've had recently; perhaps its been about a month now. A lot of people saw the movie "Lost in Translation" and didn't like it. This movie spoke volumes to me and perfectly put into perspective the idea of what its like to be a foreigner in a foreign land. The way that Tokyo was shot, the din of the city streets, the apparent bizarreness of it all - its something that I've lived many times over and while I love the experience, I'm no longer in translation, but transition.
Mozzy brings up something in his email me to that strikes a chord. "I have been back over a year now and find it still challenging every day. I believe that an experience similar to what we both shared changes you to some extent, permanently, in a way so that you can never go back to see the old things in the same light you used to see them. It becomes frustrating since you can't see the old familiar things in the same comfortable way you used to, and you see the changes in yourself from your experiences being projected into your daily life." Pretty good insight, even if he is an accountant... ;-)
Seriously though, Mozzy brings up several valid points and it sheds light on the process that repatriation is. What has happened is that the US has continued on for the last 5 years and I've not been a part of it. The experiences I've lived through while being overseas are not shared by the overwhelming majority of Americans and those experiences mean that I do see this country in a different light.
As a child growing up, I spent a good portion of my time living abroad and knew nothing different; it was my life and I didn't know that others didn't live like I did. When I got into high school, we settled down for a while and I spent the years of 1984 until 2003 living in the States (with brief periods of traveling abroad either on my own or while in the military). During those 19 years I became very adjusted to seeing the US from a certain perspective and that became my norm as I grew from a child to an adult. I came to know America in my own way and when I moved to Holland, my perspective of the world was going to change - especially how I view my native culture.
The process of repatriating is hard to explain although I think Mozzy did a pretty good job of it. While I'm an insider by birthright, I'm not an insider culturally. I've moved to New Mexico because I didn't know where else to go, making me an outsider to the community while being a virtual outsider to the nation. Yes, I am an American and yes, this is my home country but no, I do not feel like I am an American at home - that will take time. I don't see America like I did before and that's part of the reason why I feel a little lost.
But this is not designed to be a pity-post, instead a view into what it feels like to be in global transition. Combat vets talk about PTSD and not seeing the world as they saw it before. While my experiences in the world cannot compare to what they've endured, I understand their feelings of being different, outside and looking in. What to do in this case? The same as every other expatriate who comes home - take it one day at a time and appreciate the vision that I've been given. Seeing things, even countries, in a different light is a good thing and it makes you grateful for the life I chose to live.
Thanks Mozzy, my good friend and an awesome Jenga Warrior.
The title of this post comes from a feeling that I've had recently; perhaps its been about a month now. A lot of people saw the movie "Lost in Translation" and didn't like it. This movie spoke volumes to me and perfectly put into perspective the idea of what its like to be a foreigner in a foreign land. The way that Tokyo was shot, the din of the city streets, the apparent bizarreness of it all - its something that I've lived many times over and while I love the experience, I'm no longer in translation, but transition.
Mozzy brings up something in his email me to that strikes a chord. "I have been back over a year now and find it still challenging every day. I believe that an experience similar to what we both shared changes you to some extent, permanently, in a way so that you can never go back to see the old things in the same light you used to see them. It becomes frustrating since you can't see the old familiar things in the same comfortable way you used to, and you see the changes in yourself from your experiences being projected into your daily life." Pretty good insight, even if he is an accountant... ;-)
Seriously though, Mozzy brings up several valid points and it sheds light on the process that repatriation is. What has happened is that the US has continued on for the last 5 years and I've not been a part of it. The experiences I've lived through while being overseas are not shared by the overwhelming majority of Americans and those experiences mean that I do see this country in a different light.
As a child growing up, I spent a good portion of my time living abroad and knew nothing different; it was my life and I didn't know that others didn't live like I did. When I got into high school, we settled down for a while and I spent the years of 1984 until 2003 living in the States (with brief periods of traveling abroad either on my own or while in the military). During those 19 years I became very adjusted to seeing the US from a certain perspective and that became my norm as I grew from a child to an adult. I came to know America in my own way and when I moved to Holland, my perspective of the world was going to change - especially how I view my native culture.
The process of repatriating is hard to explain although I think Mozzy did a pretty good job of it. While I'm an insider by birthright, I'm not an insider culturally. I've moved to New Mexico because I didn't know where else to go, making me an outsider to the community while being a virtual outsider to the nation. Yes, I am an American and yes, this is my home country but no, I do not feel like I am an American at home - that will take time. I don't see America like I did before and that's part of the reason why I feel a little lost.
But this is not designed to be a pity-post, instead a view into what it feels like to be in global transition. Combat vets talk about PTSD and not seeing the world as they saw it before. While my experiences in the world cannot compare to what they've endured, I understand their feelings of being different, outside and looking in. What to do in this case? The same as every other expatriate who comes home - take it one day at a time and appreciate the vision that I've been given. Seeing things, even countries, in a different light is a good thing and it makes you grateful for the life I chose to live.
Thanks Mozzy, my good friend and an awesome Jenga Warrior.
Friday, August 15, 2008
holy light.
Its been a while since I've posted a picture I found on flickr. Here's one I found today that I really like - a great play on light...
poco a poco
"Little by little", a familiar phrase I learned while in Peru and now it is aptly applying to my life again. Originally it was used on me by locals to signify that I was learning Spanish and adjusting to Peruvian culture in small increments, now I use it to describe myself as I readjust to being in my native culture again.
I returned to the States about 6 weeks ago and haven't quite settled back in yet. The first few weeks I was in "teacher summer mode" and didn't get a whole lot done but that was the norm. My usual routine during my vacations was to take off a good portion of time and do absolutely nothing, rest the brain after the ordeal of the school year. At the end of the normal break, I took a couple of short trips to Colorado and Ohio before returning to New Mexico. Colorado had a strange feel to it but I couldn't put my finger on it; Ohio felt just as strange and it was there and then that I realized what I was going through. My brain was starting to wrap itself around the idea that I no longer was going to return to Peru (or any overseas location for that matter) and I needed to adjust to my new surroundings. I didn't have to learn a new place but rather relearn an old place. Driving around NE Ohio was interesting from the perspective that I knew the general structure of the place but I needed to relearn what it was like in a familiar place as things do change slightly.
The idea of driving around in Ohio perfectly reflects how I feel as a person who is repatriating. I know the general structure of the US but its still going to take me some time to get used to the changes that have taken place since I left. While five years isn't a long time and not a lot has transformed about this country, there are still small things that I need to become accustomed to and that will occur, albeit slowly.
When asked by my classmates whom I saw at the reunion in Ohio about the changes that I had noticed, I came up blank. I could feel there was a difference but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Yeah, traffic patterns can be slightly different and money has a weird red tint to it in some cases but when asked about other specifics, I just couldn't nail it down. And maybe it isn't the culture or anything else of the States that has changed that much, maybe its just me. Something tells me that it is more of the latter than the former but then again, I'm not the best of impartial judges.
So I find myself living in a land where I grew up, speaking my native language consistently and listening to accents that are almost the same as mine but still feeling like a stranger. I know that it is just the process of repatriation and all expats comment similarly about feeling the same way but this is my first time doing it as an adult. Why not record it on this blog like my other expat stories? So I have decided to put it down here and use it as a tool for reflection for when I do this again. And yes, I do plan on going overseas again in the future (Africa sounds like a great adventure) and perhaps writing it down this time will make it easier on the next move that involves repatriation. A tool for my use and for others, especially those are going or will go through it.
Getting over culture shock is a gradual process that I will go through, something that will take time. In other words, poco a poco.
I returned to the States about 6 weeks ago and haven't quite settled back in yet. The first few weeks I was in "teacher summer mode" and didn't get a whole lot done but that was the norm. My usual routine during my vacations was to take off a good portion of time and do absolutely nothing, rest the brain after the ordeal of the school year. At the end of the normal break, I took a couple of short trips to Colorado and Ohio before returning to New Mexico. Colorado had a strange feel to it but I couldn't put my finger on it; Ohio felt just as strange and it was there and then that I realized what I was going through. My brain was starting to wrap itself around the idea that I no longer was going to return to Peru (or any overseas location for that matter) and I needed to adjust to my new surroundings. I didn't have to learn a new place but rather relearn an old place. Driving around NE Ohio was interesting from the perspective that I knew the general structure of the place but I needed to relearn what it was like in a familiar place as things do change slightly.
The idea of driving around in Ohio perfectly reflects how I feel as a person who is repatriating. I know the general structure of the US but its still going to take me some time to get used to the changes that have taken place since I left. While five years isn't a long time and not a lot has transformed about this country, there are still small things that I need to become accustomed to and that will occur, albeit slowly.
When asked by my classmates whom I saw at the reunion in Ohio about the changes that I had noticed, I came up blank. I could feel there was a difference but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Yeah, traffic patterns can be slightly different and money has a weird red tint to it in some cases but when asked about other specifics, I just couldn't nail it down. And maybe it isn't the culture or anything else of the States that has changed that much, maybe its just me. Something tells me that it is more of the latter than the former but then again, I'm not the best of impartial judges.
So I find myself living in a land where I grew up, speaking my native language consistently and listening to accents that are almost the same as mine but still feeling like a stranger. I know that it is just the process of repatriation and all expats comment similarly about feeling the same way but this is my first time doing it as an adult. Why not record it on this blog like my other expat stories? So I have decided to put it down here and use it as a tool for reflection for when I do this again. And yes, I do plan on going overseas again in the future (Africa sounds like a great adventure) and perhaps writing it down this time will make it easier on the next move that involves repatriation. A tool for my use and for others, especially those are going or will go through it.
Getting over culture shock is a gradual process that I will go through, something that will take time. In other words, poco a poco.
Friday, July 18, 2008
gluttony gets a calling card
The more I read the news the more I seem to notice that America is being served a big-ass portion of "shoulda thunk more about what you were doing". There are lots of signs out there that Americans have been overdoing it for over 50 years and now its starting to catch up with us, in a super big, ugly, nasty way.
We've been the gluttons of the planet ever since WWII came to a conclusion. Since the Americas were untouched during the colossal war, our resources were undamaged, infrastructure in place, and the United States was the big beneficiary of it. Mexico and countries south used this advantage to start building themselves up while Canada used the time to recuperate and get back to figuring out a way to make their cars not freeze so much (I joke, don't get upset).
America in the post-war era really jumped. Manufacturing was retooled after the war for the returning solider and his family to supply the needs of the family. America didn't have to spend billions on rebuilding and as a result, we spent the money on consuming. Over the course of the last five decades, Americans have become the very best at being consumers. From petroleum and all is by-products to food and all of its processed derivatives, we've done a great job of gobbling up everything in sight.
The time has come to pay for that gluttony.
The signs were evident in the 70s. Carter tried to get the country to realize its need for an energy policy and the gas crisis of his Administration should have awoken us to the upcoming dangers. Instead his ideas were buried when Reagan came to office as that Administration spent its time and money buying out communism and ignoring the need. We stormed ahead with giant cars, dubbed SUVs, and expected that cheap gas was something we would always have. The last few years have showed the error of that belief.
American industry was also given notice back in the 70s but it failed to listen as well. The environmental disaster of the Love Canal in western New York and the flammability of the Cuyahoga River in northeast Ohio were indicators that we couldn't treat our environment as a dump site and expect any type of animal to flourish - human or other. Yet Hinkley, California still made headlines as PG&E was sued by residents for the hexavalent chromium it polluted the water with some 15 years later, as made famous by the movie Erin Brockovich.
We lived for 50 years thinking that what we did would have no consequences and ignored the idea that "everything should be in moderation". Yet there was no moderation, no limits, no reflection to see if we were acting appropriately. We assumed that we could do no wrong, that the might of America would mean that our values were never questioned and our beliefs adopted by one and all. We now reap what we have sown and America looks much the worse for it.
Our economy is tied to oil that we do not control. We are currently spending hundred of billions (the numbers range from 330 to 600) of dollars EVERY YEAR in our demand for oil. Americans are the donors of the largest transfer of wealth from one nation-state to others ever seen in history. Pretty soon there American dream will be alive and well somewhere in the Middle East or Venezuela.
We raped our environment with over-fishing, over-ranching, and over-spraying of pesticides. The fishing industry in reeling now and realizing their error after 50 years of giving everyone what they wanted at a super-low cost; only the cost was passed on to the remaining sea-life, decimating the populations so that they are dangerously low today. Alaskan King Crab, Maryland Blue Crab, and Atlantic Cod are examples of over-fishing that have devastated those species to the point where they may not be available soon in your supermarket. In search of places to raise the almighty cow, native grasslands are chewed down to nothingness to feed the hormone-laced beast. We despise bugs so much that we are willing to put horrendous chemicals on our food to prevent them from eating it (bugs need to eat too ya know) and end up ingesting those poisons in the process. I won't even go into DDT and what that can do...
But all is not gloom and doom, there is hope for Americans - provided we take a long, hard look at our practices and recognize what moderation truly is. It may mean completely changing how we think but as a young country and we have that ability. Americans are known for overcoming the odds, never giving up, always fighting to the end. We show it in our movies and in our actions (United Flight 93) which is a testament to the idea that we can accomplish whatever we set out to do. We can change in a moment's notice, we can mend our ways, and we can show others what the true path to maintaining a sustainable environment is all about. American leadership is not waning but it could do better.
So America, when do we start leading again? Show it in your actions, not your words.
We've been the gluttons of the planet ever since WWII came to a conclusion. Since the Americas were untouched during the colossal war, our resources were undamaged, infrastructure in place, and the United States was the big beneficiary of it. Mexico and countries south used this advantage to start building themselves up while Canada used the time to recuperate and get back to figuring out a way to make their cars not freeze so much (I joke, don't get upset).
America in the post-war era really jumped. Manufacturing was retooled after the war for the returning solider and his family to supply the needs of the family. America didn't have to spend billions on rebuilding and as a result, we spent the money on consuming. Over the course of the last five decades, Americans have become the very best at being consumers. From petroleum and all is by-products to food and all of its processed derivatives, we've done a great job of gobbling up everything in sight.
The time has come to pay for that gluttony.
The signs were evident in the 70s. Carter tried to get the country to realize its need for an energy policy and the gas crisis of his Administration should have awoken us to the upcoming dangers. Instead his ideas were buried when Reagan came to office as that Administration spent its time and money buying out communism and ignoring the need. We stormed ahead with giant cars, dubbed SUVs, and expected that cheap gas was something we would always have. The last few years have showed the error of that belief.
American industry was also given notice back in the 70s but it failed to listen as well. The environmental disaster of the Love Canal in western New York and the flammability of the Cuyahoga River in northeast Ohio were indicators that we couldn't treat our environment as a dump site and expect any type of animal to flourish - human or other. Yet Hinkley, California still made headlines as PG&E was sued by residents for the hexavalent chromium it polluted the water with some 15 years later, as made famous by the movie Erin Brockovich.
We lived for 50 years thinking that what we did would have no consequences and ignored the idea that "everything should be in moderation". Yet there was no moderation, no limits, no reflection to see if we were acting appropriately. We assumed that we could do no wrong, that the might of America would mean that our values were never questioned and our beliefs adopted by one and all. We now reap what we have sown and America looks much the worse for it.
Our economy is tied to oil that we do not control. We are currently spending hundred of billions (the numbers range from 330 to 600) of dollars EVERY YEAR in our demand for oil. Americans are the donors of the largest transfer of wealth from one nation-state to others ever seen in history. Pretty soon there American dream will be alive and well somewhere in the Middle East or Venezuela.
We raped our environment with over-fishing, over-ranching, and over-spraying of pesticides. The fishing industry in reeling now and realizing their error after 50 years of giving everyone what they wanted at a super-low cost; only the cost was passed on to the remaining sea-life, decimating the populations so that they are dangerously low today. Alaskan King Crab, Maryland Blue Crab, and Atlantic Cod are examples of over-fishing that have devastated those species to the point where they may not be available soon in your supermarket. In search of places to raise the almighty cow, native grasslands are chewed down to nothingness to feed the hormone-laced beast. We despise bugs so much that we are willing to put horrendous chemicals on our food to prevent them from eating it (bugs need to eat too ya know) and end up ingesting those poisons in the process. I won't even go into DDT and what that can do...
But all is not gloom and doom, there is hope for Americans - provided we take a long, hard look at our practices and recognize what moderation truly is. It may mean completely changing how we think but as a young country and we have that ability. Americans are known for overcoming the odds, never giving up, always fighting to the end. We show it in our movies and in our actions (United Flight 93) which is a testament to the idea that we can accomplish whatever we set out to do. We can change in a moment's notice, we can mend our ways, and we can show others what the true path to maintaining a sustainable environment is all about. American leadership is not waning but it could do better.
So America, when do we start leading again? Show it in your actions, not your words.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
transition
Life is always in transition but for me, this seems to be a common theme. Coming back to the US, I moved myself for the 25th time. Needless to say, I've become pretty good at packing and relocating quickly, Peru being the ultimate testiment to that. I was able to pack out my entire Peruvian life in just under 12 hours - and that included quite a bit of dawdling on the computer (damn Conquer Club!). When all was said and done, I packed up everything I cared to take with me into 4 suitcases and a box for a grand total of 100 kg (220 lbs) worth of cargo. $670 later, I had all my personal goods back to the States where it joined the rest of my crap, which had been waiting in storage for 5 years since leaving California to go teach abroad. Yes, my stuff is sitting currently in my parents' garage and I'm currently living in their basement - feel free to poke fun of me if you so desire.
Now that I'm back, I'm starting to settle in. One thing that I've noticed is that a lot of my friends that I had before I left the States are really starting to get in contact with me and they share a common theme.
"When are you coming back to visit?"
Sorry friends but I'm going to admit something publicly that may offend some of you but hey, its my blog and I'm gonna write what I wanna write.
My initial thought to answering this question was, "Soon, just let me get settled and I'll come out to visit." But then I got to thinking - why should I have to do all the traveling?
I've been traveling for the better part of 30 years and have always been the one to go somewhere else to visit my friends because they were located there. In my youth, that is completely understandable as kids are somewhat tied to their parents. But we've all entered a point now where we (as people in the 30something category) have the choice to travel anywhere we want with the family that we have. So when my brain got to pondering, it made me think, "Why don't you come visit me for a change?"
I recognize that vacation time is precious in the States as most people tend to get about 2 weeks a year when they start working. By now, most of my peers have been working long enough that they should be in the 4 week range, depending how long they've been with an employer. I also recognize that I've always been extremely mobile and willing to travel great distances to see my friends (its easier when you're single) but at this point in my life, I'm starting to get weary of being the weary traveler.
So my friends who are reading this - New Mexico is a wonderful place to visit and you should do so before I find a job and leave the "Land of Enchantment" because you never know when you might come back. For those of you who are reading just because you are reading, when was the last time YOU made the long trip to go see a friend?
Now that I'm back, I'm starting to settle in. One thing that I've noticed is that a lot of my friends that I had before I left the States are really starting to get in contact with me and they share a common theme.
"When are you coming back to visit?"
Sorry friends but I'm going to admit something publicly that may offend some of you but hey, its my blog and I'm gonna write what I wanna write.
My initial thought to answering this question was, "Soon, just let me get settled and I'll come out to visit." But then I got to thinking - why should I have to do all the traveling?
I've been traveling for the better part of 30 years and have always been the one to go somewhere else to visit my friends because they were located there. In my youth, that is completely understandable as kids are somewhat tied to their parents. But we've all entered a point now where we (as people in the 30something category) have the choice to travel anywhere we want with the family that we have. So when my brain got to pondering, it made me think, "Why don't you come visit me for a change?"
I recognize that vacation time is precious in the States as most people tend to get about 2 weeks a year when they start working. By now, most of my peers have been working long enough that they should be in the 4 week range, depending how long they've been with an employer. I also recognize that I've always been extremely mobile and willing to travel great distances to see my friends (its easier when you're single) but at this point in my life, I'm starting to get weary of being the weary traveler.
So my friends who are reading this - New Mexico is a wonderful place to visit and you should do so before I find a job and leave the "Land of Enchantment" because you never know when you might come back. For those of you who are reading just because you are reading, when was the last time YOU made the long trip to go see a friend?
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
recent shutdown
If you've tried logging in much over the last few weeks, you will have noticed that you've been denied access. A precautionary measure was needed for a short period of time to ensure against a possible problem that crept its way into my life.
I got notification a few weeks ago that my personal information had been possibly compromised. As a result of the information superhighway, items that used to be confidential and personal can sometimes be accessed by people that we don't necessarily want to have that information. Since we rely on computers so much nowadays for all of our record-keeping, you have to be extremely careful when it comes to what personal information you share on the net. I always knew that but a recent set of events caused me to really look at what I was sharing.
With my personal information compromised by another agency, I was put on alert by said agency. I went through the process of having my credit checked and monitored to see if anything might happen. Sure enough, I was notified that someone attempted to get a credit card in my name. When I called the security company back to tell them that I was not the applicant, they took the appropriate steps to ensure that my identity was protected. Needless to say, I am happy to have paid for the service that monitored my credit and personal information. Peace of mind comes at a cost but a cost I was glad to have paid.
Now that all is said and done, my identity still intact (I think), I'm back to being up on the internet here at Expat Nomad. With the move to the US coming up very soon, check back for more posts in the near future that chronicle my journey back to the realm of repatriation.
I got notification a few weeks ago that my personal information had been possibly compromised. As a result of the information superhighway, items that used to be confidential and personal can sometimes be accessed by people that we don't necessarily want to have that information. Since we rely on computers so much nowadays for all of our record-keeping, you have to be extremely careful when it comes to what personal information you share on the net. I always knew that but a recent set of events caused me to really look at what I was sharing.
With my personal information compromised by another agency, I was put on alert by said agency. I went through the process of having my credit checked and monitored to see if anything might happen. Sure enough, I was notified that someone attempted to get a credit card in my name. When I called the security company back to tell them that I was not the applicant, they took the appropriate steps to ensure that my identity was protected. Needless to say, I am happy to have paid for the service that monitored my credit and personal information. Peace of mind comes at a cost but a cost I was glad to have paid.
Now that all is said and done, my identity still intact (I think), I'm back to being up on the internet here at Expat Nomad. With the move to the US coming up very soon, check back for more posts in the near future that chronicle my journey back to the realm of repatriation.
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