dealing with colleagues who teach your children

So in my post from yesterday, I told the story of a colleague who didn't read the article that we were given at the beginning of the year. I found it and I am putting it up for teachers all around to read. With thanks to the author, here it is - part II of the advice from Dr. Chip Barder, director of the American School of Warsaw (Poland).


1. Ask your spouse to be the one who deals with the school issues.

2. Handle things in a way that you would want the parents of your students to handle things with you.

3. Have the child handle as much of the interaction as possible.

4. Keep the focus on the issues - "Here is what I hear at home. Help me with your side."

5. Be sure to catch the teacher being good. There is nothing wrong with building a positive relationship with him/her as soon as possible.

6. Engage a third party, e.g. counselor, friends, to listen to you and check your thinking. It is human nature to become, at times, emotional when your own child is involved. A third party can help sort the emotions from the fact and can assist in selecting a problem-solving path.

7. A third party could also facilitate a three way conference. In this case, it is important that the party is mutually acceptable.

8. A tendency on the part of the parent who is also a teacher is to be overly judgmental and critical, especially if the style or philosophy of the child's teacher is different from their own. Keep an open mind and look for some positive things the child is learning.

9. Remember that you are a parent first and foremost - your child needs you to be an ally.

10. Some simple do's and dont's:
DO be sure to separate your role as a parent from your role as a faculty member when dealing with your child's peer group.
DO be ready to listen and help your child sort out issues that may come up when they are treated badly by other students because they are a "teacher's kid."
DO try to make sure that they have the same advantages and disadvantages that other students have.
DON'T talk about sensitive school issues at home.
DON'T bring your child into the faculty by bringing them to faculty events, into the faculty lounge, or allow to call teachers by their first name.
DON'T rescue your child when they forget their lunch money, homework, etc. The transition when you are not around will be that much harder.